Author's note: I wrote this as a response to the point of view used in the goblin wood. I am hoping to get a 9 in point of view with this.
In the book “The Goblin Wood” Scenes take place in the
viewpoint of either Makenna or Tobin. This affects the overall mindset of the
reader because you are only getting two opinions on everything and Tobin starts
out on one side but soon starts to think differently. In the scene where Tobin
first meets Makenna he looks at her and thinks at first that she couldn’t be
that Sorceress he was meant to kill but instead thinks she is misguided because
she looks nothing like the type of person he was expecting. Some of the same
ideals carry over to Makenna because at first she thinks he is a mercenary but
then because he wore a knights armor and was alone she thought he was a
lordling, then when she saw his horse she thought it odd that he was there at
all because he looked like a knight and knights usually came in groups with
seven priests to help them. All of this is what the reader is able to get from
these two chapters in two different viewpoints happening at the same time in
practically the same place but from two entirely different people.
I appreciate your trying to use a different view, but I wish there was more structure here, and more attention paid to conventions. You have always had a creative mind, but be careful that the creativity doesn't always take a back seat to getting it right.
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